Thursday, December 15, 2016

Into Introversion

I'm feeling so isolated these days.  I have had to back away from any form of ministry except to my kids and husband.  I am naturally introverted and I can feel myself becoming more and more introverted.  Have you ever been alone so much that you forget how to talk to people?  You make crazy interpersonal fopauxs when you go to the store or are out after a long time??  It's crazy and embarrassing.  I want
to re-enter the world, but when I do, if I overdo at all, then I end up bedridden for a couple weeks.  Overdoing means talking to several people at church, or trying to understand conversation in Hindi for an hour, or even just doing mental work for a couple hours at home.  It doesn't take much.

My body cannot handle stress anymore. I never realized that working on mental work was stress.  Or talking to people after church.  Or driving for an hour.  Or...  just about anything it seems.  I pray to God He restores my body.  But like Apostle Paul, I am learning to be content in whatever situation God allows.

I prefer to be well, but that means I'm a hermit.   God help me to dig into your Word. Help me rest in the reality of You. I know that when I am alone and unable to be with friends, that you are with me and I am not really alone, ever.   You are constant. Even when I cannot read the Bible or remember what I read. You are with me.  I love the Mandisa song by that title, "You are with me."  You are with me.  Help me walk in the spirit here in whatever circumstances I am in and bring glory to You even in the silence of my house right now.  To give You praise and glory for You are Good. and You are faithful. And I will worship You.  I love You. And I need You...always.

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